A Basket of Nerves

     Yesterday was Colin'c first "real" basketball game. What I mean by that is, it was the first time he has played with his gen ed peers from school. Sure, he has done basketball at the Y for some time. But, most of the time we had him play down a grade. When he was in kindergarten and 1st grade we did have him play rec and ed soccer. At that time none of the kids were really all that good at sports,  so he fit right in. This, this was different. He is in 6th grade and we know that most of these kids have probably been playing basketball for some time. Heck, many of them probably play in travel leagues or what not.

     I was nervous to let him sign up to play basketball (in 6th grade, there are no cuts) but we talked to the coach and his phys ed teacher and they were very supportive of him playing. I was nervous because I knew how good these kids would be. I was nervous because he loves basketball SO much and I want to see him be successful. I was nervous because I knew he would not be as good as the other kids and I didn't want him to be embarrassed. I was nervous that the other kids would make fun of him. I was nervous that he would get so nervous that he might start crying, right in the middle of a game. I was nervous that he would stick out like a sore thumb. I was nervous that everyone could tell he was special needs and then coddle him because of it.

      When I arrived at the game, it had already started. Colin was not playing yet, but the boys that were playing, they were good. Really good. Fast and aggressive. My heart sank a little. I had butterflies in my stomach. How would this end?  Even my husband said he was nervous.

      Finally, Colin's line entered the game. Because it's 6th grade, no cuts, they put the boys in groups of 5. Every 4 minutes or so, they put in a new group of 5.  So,  Colin enters the game and I really just wanted to close my eyes. Instead, I focused on Colin and pretended we were back at the Y. He was playing good defense, staying on his man. He never handled the ball but he was able to keep up running and covering his guy. He didn't fall or fumble, so whew! We got through his first 4 minutes with nothing major happening and he didn't stand out, (at least, I don't think he did).

      He got in the game at least 4 more times and it looked the same every time. A couple of times he did get the ball but he would pass it off right away. I think that is ok considering the league of boys he was playing with. He wasn't aggressive at all but at least he didn't fumble anything. I hope that his confidence will build enough to try dribbling and maybe even shooting in the next few games.

    The thing I loved the most was watching him cheer on his team. He was paying attention to the game and cheering when they scored. He was chanting along with the rest of the team and patting kids backs when they did something good. I loved his team spirit! I hope his passion never dies.

A New Year. A New Attitude!

I am not much of a planner. In fact, I am not organized at all. I certainly am not a "Type A" person in any form. In fact, I am not a "Type B" person either. I like to think of myself as a "Type D" person. (There is no such thing, I know. I'm making this up.) I'm pretty sure my friends are saying," I can't believe it, you always seem so put together and you seem so tidy." Tidy, yes. Put together, NO.

 * A side note: my mother was very organized and VERY tidy. Nothing was ever out of place in our home. There is a tiny bit of me like that (not the organized part, just the tidy part). It drives me nuts that nothing ever seems to be in it's "place".

 Organized, I am not. A planner, I am not.My husband is not much of a planner either,which is good. We have been known to make many last minute vacation plans and they always turn out great. So, why every single "New" year do I make a resolution to be more organized? I have these grand plans of organizing all of Colin's medical papers in a binder so I can take it with me to every appointment. That way I won't have to wrack my brain when they ask me questions about a particular doctor's visit or what meds he is currently taking. It makes sense, right? Yet, I never do it. And, so far, I have been ok without it. I have numerous sewing and knitting projects that are in the works and I am stressing myself out because they are not complete. I was asking my husband the other day, "What are we doing for our summer vacation ?" Why am I even thinking about this? I know we won't decide what to do until June. It always turns out fine, so why stress? But, every year I make this resolution and every year I stress myself out over it. This year, I am not. I am not going to worry about the state of my house. I am not going to worry about our vacation. I am not going to worry about those sewing/knitting projects. They will get done when they get done! I am not going to make a binder because if I haven't done it by now, I never will so I am taking that off of my list. I am going to live day to day, like I always have and not be stressed about it! I am not going to think about what I have to do tomorrow, I will worry about that tomorrow. I will only think about today and what needs to be done. I will still make my daily list of "To Do's" but I will not stress myself out if they don't get done. I will live in the moment more and not worry about the future. If Colin has taught me anything, it is this.