Egg Shells, Demons, and Fire

     My mind is swirling right now. I don't even know how to start. There are so many directions I could take this right now. I could talk about how Colin is being wishy washy about taking medicine. I could discuss how one minute things are fine and the next, we have blow up. I could tell you about how he can be so sweet and so thoughtful. I could tell you how we can talk about something one day and the next day a full blown argument takes place defending the opposite result from the day before. I could say that one day we are all on the same page and the next day, that changes because of Colin.
     Here is what I do know. I know that I cannot keep doing this. I know that something has to change. I know that I need to get my life back. This weekend I had plans on both nights. I had to cancel those plans because my son had major behavior issues. I don't know what exactly it is but I suspect that it has a lot to do with when my mom passed away. I think he is afraid something will happen to me. Even though he doesn't know this, this is what I think. The crazy thing is, I have mentioned this to every single professional that we have talked to about Colin's behavior issues. Nobody ever thinks that is the case or it is not addressed. So for the past 2 nights, he knew I was going to leave (Andy was going with me and tonight he was going to be alone for about an hour) so he started being (excuse my French) an asshole. He knew I was being picked up at 6:30. He knew I wouldn't be home til 9:30. He knew he would be alone until Andy and Blake got home from the game. He didn't want me to leave so he started being an ass and making up stuff that he was mad about. When he gets mad, he swears and calls me really awful names. Oh, and he will get in my face, spit on me, grab me, hit me, whatever he needs to do to keep me around. So normally, if I leave, he will settled down within in 30 minutes. Now, this is if Andy is here. Andy was not here. So I could not leave. Guess what I did? I sat in my (running) car in the driveway (with the doors locked) hoping that Colin was not destroying the house and everything in it. He came out several times to yell at me, thorough the window of the car.
     So the good news is, we went to the psychiatrist today. We have a medicine that we think (we hope) will work and not cause any problems (like the last several that we tried did). Colin is on board. He's not. He is on board. He's not. Tonight, after our "episode" and after Andy and Blake got home, he was OK with medicine. We. will. see. not. holding.my.breath.
   
          "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."-Forrest Gump