Everything Sucks Right Now

     This was the title from the post I published about 3 months ago AND it was the post that has received the most hits since I shared my blog a few years ago. I find it incredibly sad that the post with the most negative title was the post that everyone wanted to read. I really can't blame people, I mean, even I am attracted to the negative news (why I continue to be drawn to the Real Housewives, is beyond me.)
     My purpose in sharing my blog was to find and possibly help other families that might be in similar situations. I was feeling very disconnected because I had a special needs child and I felt nobody really understood me or my situation. In turn, it became more of a venting for me and in some cases, me wanting people to feel sorry for me. I do think it raised a level of awareness for people that I am surrounded by but not necessarily the venue for which I was hoping.
    I did find a few people in my circle that I did not know, had similar situations. A friend from high school that I had probably not seen since we graduated, sent me a message about her special needs daughter. A family members daughter that has a son with "issues" and another high school friend whose child has behavior issues. Plus, I cannot forget, the moms I met when Colin first entered "special ed" and we had play dates with our special needs kids all through elementary school and we all felt "normal" being together. (I miss you ladies!)
     I have decided that I am done making my blog public. I am no longer going to put it "out there" for everyone to see. What I wanted to accomplish, didn't work. I don't think it's fair to Colin to always air our dirty laundry. He is genuinely a sweet, caring, and loving boy and it's not fair for me to show the other side of him.
     I am still going to write. I write all the time and I have decided I am going to practice my craft in private with the possibility of some day writing a book. I may decide to start a blog again, if I can do it the way I envision. But, for now, I keep my thoughts and ideas private.