I hate days like this

I hate days like this when I feel bad about having a special ed kid. And then I feel guilty for feeling bad about having a special ed kid. Here's what happened today that made me sad but really more just angry. I went on a field trip with Colin. Should be fun,right? Well,when you go with the whole 3rd grade and the 3rd grade special ed kids come along and they are segregated the whole time,well let's just say,it sucks! Colin is suppose to be mainstreamed into the general ed classroom (I thought a little bit every day,but I found out it only happens 1-2 times per week. This is another post at another time.) He is suppose to feel like he is part of the class by having his name on the birthday poster,having a seat in the room,attending parties,etc. NONE of this is happening. When we arrived at our field trip destination,Colin was not assigned to be with any of the general ed kids in a group. The teacher seemed very put off with this suggestion from the teaching assistant that came on the trip. So all of the special ed kids (parents and teaching assistants) made our own group and hung out together. The general ed kids,teachers,parents hardly noticed us and never acknowledged us. At the end of the trip the 3rd grade class (that Colin is suppose to be a "part" of) got together for a group picture while the special ed kids sat off to the side. Not one person even thought to have "those" kids be part of the picture. It saddened me and angered me. And it made me,just for a minute,feel sorry for myself. But then I felt sorry for Colin,being treated like such an outsider. More importantly I feel sorry for those general ed kids (and parents and teachers) that are not seeing the opportunity to know some really special kids,one of them being mine.