It's just exhausting

No doubt being a parent is exhausting. Being a special needs parent,well let's just say it can be down right crippling. Colin has some issues (really? that's right he is special needs for a reason!) Generally,his behavior is "normal". His teachers report he has no behavior issues at school,ever. I think they would be shocked to know that he has lots of behavior issues at home. I don't know if he holds it all in at school and then explodes at home or if we are just bad parents. I would like to think we are pretty good parents since our first son has (so far) turned out just fine. Here's something really interesting though....When you are a parent you tend to get lots of advice from other seasoned parents on what to do in any given situation. People are not short on advice let me tell you. When you are a parent of a special needs child and you are asking (begging) for advice on what to do in any given situation,you get silence. This I know from experience. I have asked many people for help with Colin's behavior problems,nobody really knows what to tell me. We actually went to a family therapist for a bit. As helpful as she tried to be,I felt she didn't have experience with cognitively impaired children,so we stopped going to her. Things are definitely better this year vs. last year. We have recognized some of the signs that Colin is breaking down but we are not there 100% yet. For example,we know when he gets tired he is bound to have some sort of issue. Staying up late for him is not an option or we will pay for it at 10:00 when we try to put him to bed. Sometimes we won't pay for it until the next day.Also,if he is hungry he gets very agitated. So,we let him eat whenever he wants to. (Luckily he is really skinny!)As much as we can predict (and sometimes stop) his meltdowns or rages,we still call him a loose cannon. One minute he can be in the best mood and then you say or do something (can't find a pattern to this yet) and he explodes. When he explodes,there isn't much you can do except ride it out. I have found that reasoning does NOT work and trying to make him happy doesn't work,certainly arguing or yelling doesn't work either! Ignoring him (sometimes) maddens him but talking to him annoys him. It can be a vicious cycle. One thing I do know for certain,MOST of the time Colin is as sweet as pie. So I enjoy those pie moments all the time. I brace myself when the rollercoaster starts because I never know when we will get off. I guess it just part of parenting,special needs or not.